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:: L G B  T E A S E ::
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered people
# S5E01

As the fifth season opens, Helena's adjustment to prison life is not exactly a smooth one, while Bette and Tina sweat their way through the rigorous preschool admissions process for Angelica; a lonely Tina ponders the rigors of seeking a new relationship.

Not long after extolling the virtues of Joyce during Alice's podcast, Phyllis begins to have doubts about their relationship and wonders if she should explore other sexual and romantic options, even as Joyce plans a festive "coming out" party for her at The Planet.

Classically unable to avoid temptation, Shane hooks up with a sexy real estate agent, but is discovered in the act by Paige, who furiously puts an end to their relationship. But Shane hasn't heard the last of the scorned and humiliated single mom.

Jenny returns from Mexico with a much-abused assistant in tow and a creative bombshell: she is involved with the Greek hedge fund billionaire who is financing Tina's movie company, a development that puts Jenny's script "Lez Girls" back on the fast-track for production – with Jenny attached to direct. The only person happy to see Jenny back home, in the meantime, is Shane.

Her friends try to find a new lover for Tina, but her heart's just not in the dating game, and Shane's attempt to fly "wingman" for her at Phyllis's coming-out party works out as badly as anyone would have predicted. A spark between her and Bette blows out when Jodi returns home and resumes trying to break Bette of her type-A tendencies.

Two new entrepreneurs from Miami open "Shebar," a rival lesbian nightclub near The Planet, causing Kit to be concerned about the future of her business – a worry that Shane no longer has when WAX goes up in flames, the result of arson.

Instead of being deployed to Iraq as expected, Tasha shows up Alice's apartment for a charged reunion – but what is she doing home when her unit is on its way to the Middle East ?

* Ilene Chaiken's script >> 501

:: L O O K  O U T ,  H E R E  T H E Y  C O M E ! ::
# S5E02

Shane accepts a last-minute gig as a wedding hair stylist for the wealthy family of Jenny and Tina's producer William Halsey, and finds herself literally up to her ears in illicit sex with the bridesmaids – and even the mother of the bride. But she's soon dodging the clingiest of her lovers, advising the distraught, reluctant bride to go through with the ceremony, and fleeing for her life when her paramours figure out that she's been double and triple-timing them.

Meanwhile, Shane's friends speculate about the burning of WAX, which everyone attributes to Paige. And an attempt at a love connection ends in disappointment for Tina, who can't manage to disguise her lingering attraction to and love for Bette. When Bette shows up at The Planet with Jodi, her appearance puts an end to Tina's increasingly awkward first (and last) date.

Tasha's solicitation of legal advice from a colleague on base reveals the truth about why she wasn't deployed to Iraq – she's being investigated by the military for suspected homosexual conduct. And it's quickly clear that even old friends won't be willing to defend her. Alice struggles to accept Tasha's desire to remain in the service and lie about her true nature.

Adele, an eccentric new hipster patron of The Planet and a recent émigré from Florida, turns out to be Jenny's number one literary fan and quickly lands herself the job of the writer's new, disturbingly devoted assistant.

Determined to date other people and not make the same mistakes she did during her long and unhappy marriage, Phyllis breaks up with Joyce, who doesn’t take the news well.

When she is viciously attacked by a gang in the prison shower, Helena is rescued by her hulking, reticent cell mate Dusty, and the two are soon bonding over vintage movie stars – as well as Dusty's muscular physique.

:: L A D Y  O F  T H E  L A K E ::
# S5E03

Her friends are skeptical when, in the wake of her recent drama at a wedding reception, Shane swears off sex and embraces a healthier lifestyle of exercise and meditation. Her new drive and mental agility are hard to deny, however.

Max ponders a same-sex attraction to Jodi's cute, gay interpreter Tom, who is clearly smitten. At first resistant, Max's resolve begins to crumble under Tom's affectionate attention.

Jodi's annual lakeside retreat with a group of close lifelong friends is a disaster thanks to an uptight and very boundary-conscious Bette, who gets a reprieve of sorts when Kit is robbed by thieves at The Planet – which is temporarily closed due to the incident.

Helena's mother finally turns up to bail her daughter out of jail, but the inmate's got a surprise for everyone: she wants to stay with her new cellmate and lover Dusty. When she's forcibly bailed out, Helena schemes to recover the millions she stole, spring Dusty out of jail, and disappear for good.

Tasha clashes with her long-time friend and colleague Beech, who is now assigned against his will to defend her against the military's claim of homosexual behavior. Despite the truth of the allegation, a distraught Tasha is determined to fight the case despite being forced to lie and preserve her cherished career.

After surfing the net for a date, Tina hooks up with a gorgeous, surgically enhanced doctor whose unexpected interest in art collecting soon has them bonding and more.

:: L E T S  G E T  T H I S  P A R T Y  S T A R T E D ::
# S5E04

While enrolled in a self-defence class with Kit, the gang discusses plans to attend the opening of SheBar, a rival new lesbian club competing with The Planet, which is still temporarily closed. Bette hears for the first time that Tina is dating Brenda, an attractive heart surgeon.

Alice receives a menacing visit from a pair of condescending military investigators who bully their way into her apartment, searching for signs of her relationship with Tasha. Alice is left shaken and enraged, inspiring Tasha to confront her lackluster legal defender Beech, whose reluctance to get more involved than necessary begins to diminish.

Bette handles a complaint from a student who claims to have been traumatized by a work of violent performance art in Jodi's classroom, but Jodi dismisses the charge as overwrought. Meanwhile, she and Bette's romantic relationship is still strained in the wake of their truncated weekend getaway to the lake.

Disappointed to be turned down for the lead in "Lez Girls" by an A-list actress, Jenny nevertheless resists the studio's pressure to cast a talented unknown, upcoming "Bond girl" Nikki Stevens – but she reconsiders when Nikki seeks out Jenny at SheBar and reveals a little-known personal secret.

While a self-protection-minded Kit shops for a gun, Alice and Tasha attend a top-secret party thrown by Hollywood power player Barry Burd, whose hush-hush gatherings are safe havens for those in the closet to let their hair down.

After days without sexual gratification, Shane begins to show signs of mental, physical and emotional distress – but an encounter with the debutante party-girl owners of SheBar may provide the relief she needs.

Meanwhile, in a secluded side-room at SheBar, former couple Bette and Tina share an illicit kiss…

:: L O O K I N '  A T  Y O U  K I D ::
# S505

Jenny rehearses her cast for "Lez Girls" and throws a wild bash to introduce her cast to their real-life counterparts, which results in delight for some (Shane – who is amused when the actress portraying her insists she's only "gay for pay"), consternation for others (Bette – who is disgusted that the actress playing her is not black) and bittersweet melancholy for one (Alice – who is shocked at the resemblance to Dana of the actress playing her late lover).

When a celebrity athlete uses a nasty homophobic slur in an ugly, publicly anti-gay statement, Alice uses evidence of his secret gay life to "out" him on her web site. When her post goes viral and results in a media firestorm, Alice is suddenly thrust into the spotlight as a gay rights advocate – but the attention and Alice's militant stance are too much for Tasha, who is still trying to fly under the military's radar. The incident causes the couple to break up.

The fallout over the violent performance art in Jodi's class worsens, with the Board of Trustees and Phyllis now dragged into the situation. Torn between trying to protect her lover/employee from herself, and recognizing her urge to intervene may be a result of type-A control issues, Bette needs advice and finds that Tina is the only one to whom she can turn.

The party-girl owners of SheBar continue to rip off all of Kit's innovative business ideas, including serving breakfast and a drive-through window – but their mutual attraction to Shane, who unsuccessfully attempts to remain neutral, threatens to derail a business partnership that is thus far proving quite lucrative.

Though the rest of the gang dismisses his suspicions, Max grows increasingly wary of Jenny's overly attentive new assistant Adele, and manages to prove that some of Adele's self-professed backstory is a blatant lie. Adele covers the discrepancy smoothly, and no one else seems to care – Tina even asks her to keep an eye on Jenny and secretly alert her to any developments about which the studio would be concerned.

Phyllis is stunned when Joyce uses their break-up as leverage in winning back her divorce case.

When Jenny and her star/protégé Nikki hook up in a closet during the party, their love making is witnessed by none other than Adele, who takes a disturbing interest in the scene.

:: L I G H T S !  C A M E R A !  A C T I O N ! ::
# S506

Production finally gets underway on "Lez Girls," but Jenny struggles with location issues, an emotionally needy star, and a cast made up of several straight actresses experiencing great difficulty feigning erotic passion on camera with their female partners.

Working on the film as its hair designer, Shane is only to happy to lend a creative hand by demonstrating the proper techniques for a public display of lesbian sensuality with a willing and attractive actress.

Unable to control or suppress their desires any longer, Bette and Tina end up in each other's arms – only to suffer the guilt of infidelity when they realize how seriously Bette is betraying Jodi.

The latter doesn't make things easier when she nobly offers to resign from her professorship in order to take political heat off Bette in the wake of a student's controversial "feigned suicide" performance art. Phyllis is willing to accept Jodi's decision but Bette refuses to consider the possibility.

A wild house party is a raucous good time for Phyllis until her daughter arrives at an inopportune moment and witnesses her mother's uninhibited behavior, driving a wedge between them even as Phyllis's high-profile divorce from Leonard is still looming.

Shane receives a double-dose of the conniving, greedy, and slightly deranged scheming of SheBar owners Cindy and Dawn – so she's the first to suspect foul play when rats are discovered at The Planet and the restaurant is immediately shut down by the health department. A furious Kit knows it's time for the gloves to come off.

On the set of "Lez Girls," Adele's low-key but unsettling obsession with Jenny becomes more obvious when she mimics her idol's haircut (with a little help from Shane). Nevertheless, Adele saves the day when she spins the revelation of Jenny and Nikki's sexual relationship in a positive direction.

:: L E S B I A N S   G O N E   W I L D ::
# S5E07

On-set clashes among the actresses starring in Jenny's film lead to a visit from the police; the strictly by-the-book colonel prosecuting Tasha's discharge case arrives on base.

:: L A Y   D O W N   T H E   L A W ::
# S5E08

Niki's managers go into damage control after her scandalous behavior hits the magazines; Alice testifies at Tasha's military hearing; and Bette and Tina reach an understanding in their relationship. Also, Shane takes a shine to Phyllis's straight daughter; and Jodi throws a dinner party and invites Tina and a date.

* Ilene Chaiken's script >> 508

:: L I Q U I D   H E A T ::
# S5E09

Amidst a scorching heat wave in Los Angeles, Jenny finds her own temperature rising on the set of Lez Girls. After a quick dip in the pool, Jodi does her best to cool things off with Bette but is quickly turned away as Bette would rather brave the heat with Tina than with Jodi. Shane convinces Jenny to accompany her to a mafia - inspired sit down hosted by the women of She-Bar, Dawn Denbo & her lover Cindi.

:: L I F E C Y C L E ::
# S5E10

As the girls prepare to set off on the Subaru Pink ride, Tina spots Nikki Stevens embarking on more than just a bike ride with Jenny.  Shane is confronted by her new admirer, or shall we say 'stalker' Molly. A sympathetic Tina pedals through the topic of Jodi and Bette.

:: L U N A R   C Y C L E ::
# S5E11

:: L O Y A L   AND   T R U E ::
# S5E12

Shane & Molly share a passionate morning before meeting Molly's mother, Phyllis & Joyce for breakfast. Helena Peabody returns to Los Angeles to visit her mother in the hospital & is gifted with her family's wealth once again. Once hearing of Kit's loss of the Planet while she was away, Helena brings a mighty tempting proposition to She-Bar owner Cindi, which is hard to resist. Lez Girls is finally finished as everyone arrives in all the glitz & glamour to the film's celebration wrap party.

to be continued...

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